I Am Happier To Know You

Praise from Lynne in England

February 13th, 2010

This is the first time I have ever been compelled to write to an author about a book. I received yours as a Christmas present from my husband and oh what a present it was!  I’ve just moments ago finished it. What a joy it was to read!
 
I am not a religious person, but accept other people’s views and beliefs. I agreed totally with your views at the end of your book regarding your one wish  that if only words of love coming from the heart were carried upon the lips  of every man woman and child on earth, we would have no need for war or the rages of terrorism… It is my views entirely.
 
Thank you once again for your lovely book. It is one of those gifts you write about in your book of being filled with the Jewels of love and wisdom.
 
Lynne
England

Coming Home

February 13th, 2010

Many of you already know that after purchasing a small ranch in Texas, we have moved back to the United States.

Thus far, now that the hurdle of another international move is behind us and work on our house is gradually transforming it into a beautiful, home, I’m finding the transition has been easier than I imagined. While I have to drive a minimum of ten miles for emergency groceries and fifty or sixty for everything else, there are no elephants, donkey carts, rickshaws, or massive traffic jams to circumvent. In fact, the roads are superlative and the majority of other drivers are easygoing and polite, even at seventy miles per hour. As I drive, I listen to books on tape and enjoy the sight of open fields and a wispy sky that covers every shade of blue. 
          The Internet and occasional international phone calls keep me in touch with wonderful friends all over the world. Life is easier “back home,” but I am always grateful for my time abroad and for the lessons and joys of that journey. Some say that life is a series of interconnecting circles; where we are at any time is perfect and an opportunity to grow, often in ways we never thought possible. This has certainly been my experience.

Because a largely global audience reads my blog, for the next few months I plan to share some of the observations of my own culture as they pop into my consciousness.
         
For nearly ten years, my focus has been on learning how to acclimate to new cultures. Because Texas is, in general, more conservative, rural and agriculturally oriented than the East coast where I lived until moving to Egypt, in many ways I am experiencing a foreign culture within my own culture. My goal is to share what I see as I did while living overseas. Feel free to leave comments or questions in the blog comment box and I’ll work hard to include my answer(s) in a new one.

A Nation of Huggers

February 3rd, 2010

One of our cultural norms in the United States is the propensity to hug those we love, are fond of, happy to see, or want to say a special thank you to. Of course, other cultures do this as well, but not to the same extent as American’s.

In business or social situations, we will shake hands with those we have just met or do not really know. The grasp of another’s hand in a handshake, whether done by a man or woman, is supposed to be firm, not machismo crushing or limp like a dead fish.  We do not shake hands and double or single kiss at the same time unless we’re aware that the person we are greeting hails from a culture that requires it.

Because some Americans are homophobic, straight men do not hold hands or kiss each other on the cheek, but it is okay to do a quick backslap and a very brief hug with a close friend or family member.

Hugs are short-lived or extended depending on the relationship with the other person. After becoming used to the etiquette at a church I attended when I lived in Washington, D.C., I got in the habit of doing full bear hugs with my male friends. This means that my breasts touched their chest. I had not even considered this might be inappropriate outside the church setting until an Australian friend demanded that I stop hugging her husband in this way. She thought I was hitting on him. I was not, but now I am more careful with both men and women. However,  this kind of hug, the one where you hold your chest a few inches away and lean forward with your ass facing upward, or just with bent arms so you cannot actually touch, to me, feels insincere. If I am truly happy to see someone, what I still consider a “real” hug is how I choose to express it.

In Egypt, it was okay to hug or double kiss all my friends and acquaintances. In India, it depended on how well I knew someone, but the double kiss was the normal greeting in social situations.  If a man was my friend, we also hugged, but if I just met him, we shook hands. In Mexico, I did not hug men. I shook their hand, but a polite greeting to a woman I had never met consisted of a single kiss to her right cheek followed by a brief hug. From my cultural perspective, this was over the top. I do not feel comfortable or sincere kissing people I do not know.  I also learned that upon arriving at an event, one is supposed to greet everyone in the room.  When leaving, you are supposed to do the reverse. I could never get myself to do this with any semblance of enthusiasm.  In my culture, this is known as “working the room.” It is practiced by those who are running for political office or trying to sell you something.

Europeans also have their own rules. It just depends on their country or culture of origin.   In some, a handshake is as close as you can get, in others, a double kiss is appropriate.  When I lived in Cairo, I greeted a British acquaintance with a hug because I was happy to see her. She was initially quite taken aback, but then kindly responded by saying “Oh. Of course you’re an American.” How lovely that she understood my cultural norm and accepted that I was not being cheeky.

If an American hugs you, take it as a compliment.  If they say that they are happy to see you, they probably are!

Praise from Lexie C. Hudson

January 13th, 2010

Loved it, loved it, loved it…my kind of book…easy to read, extremely interesting & informative…if you have a desire to learn more about the Muslim culture & to have a greater understanding of the people of Egypt this is the book you must read. The author with her wit & charm has done a wonderful job at making you feel you are there with her sharing her experiences. Will definitely order more copies to give to my friends (they’re not getting my copy) who I know will think twice before criticizing the Muslim culture & hopefully have a harder look at our own culture.

Lexie C. Hudson, NSW, Australia

Copyright 2009 by Jeanne M. Eck. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint or to quote extensively from this article, please contact the author at iamhappiertoknowyou.com

Praise from Mohamed Hassan

January 7th, 2010

It was very surprising to me to learn how well author Jeanne M. Eck understands my people, religion and culture. This is very unusual and amazing for a foreigner. The stories she tells in her book came alive. It was as if instead of reading, I could feel her sitting beside me and whispering them in my ear. I Am Happier to Know You is honest and beautiful! Jeanne M. Eck has a big heart and a magnificent spirit.

Mohamed Hassan, Egypt

Copyright 2009 by Jeanne M. Eck. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint or to quote extensively from this article, please contact the author at iamhappiertoknowyou.com

Praise from Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum

December 30th, 2009

The story of a lone American woman as she finds personal strength experiencing a totally new life in Egypt is insightful and compassionate. Her sense of humor took her through many trying circumstances, but brought with it an understanding of a country and a people she truly loves.

Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum

Copyright 2009 by Jeanne M. Eck. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint or to quote extensively from this article, please contact the author at iamhappiertoknowyou.com

Praise from Prairie Guide

December 23rd, 2009

I Am Happier to Know You will touch your heart… [Jeanne] will become your hero as she takes you on a venture that most of us only dream of.

Prairie Guide

Copyright 2009 by Jeanne M. Eck. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint or to quote extensively from this article, please contact the author at iamhappiertoknowyou.com

Praise from Cairo International Coordinator

December 16th, 2009

This book is so engaging and gives one woman’s insight into the plight of coming to a foreign land and starting over. With practical real life examples and make you laugh-out-loud scenarios, her very matter-of-fact depictions about life [in Egypt] are something we have all/will all encounter at one time or another.

Dina Hanna Gad, Intercultural Coordinator, Cairo

Copyright 2009 by Jeanne M. Eck. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint or to quote extensively from this article, please contact the author at iamhappiertoknowyou.com

Praise from Global Woman Magazine

December 9th, 2009

I Am Happier to Know You will touch you in a way that makes you view your relationships with people from other cultures differently…Jeanne Eck is a true Global Woman!

Global Woman Magazine

Copyright 2009 by Jeanne M. Eck. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint or to quote extensively from this article, please contact the author at iamhappiertoknowyou.com

Internet Love and Homework

October 1st, 2009

Since “I Am Happier to Know You” was released, I have received lovely fan mail from my readers as well as inquires asking for my help with homework because the student doesn’t have time to read my book and an alarming number from women who thought or think they have found love via the Internet with Egyptian men.

The letters from naive women have much in common, in particular extreme anxiety to find love even when red flags fly at full mast clearly warning them to run the other way. What is most hair-raising is the knowledge that in the majority of cases, the women who are prepared to pack up their lives (and often their children) and move half way around the world to a country where they don’t know the language, the laws, customs, or culture don’t understand that they very well may be running to a situation that can destroy their essence forever. They also don’t have time to read my book. Yikes!

This, of course, brings up a far larger issue. What has happened to so many women that they are willing to risk their lives and future on pretty words that camouflage falsehoods? Where is their self-esteem? Do they think so little of themselves that they’re willing to cede that which makes them who they are?

Of course there are wonderful foreign men seeking true love, but how do you separate them out from those who want a visa to your country or access to your bank account? Internet dating sites can be wonderful, but also a minefield of hooligans. How do you know the difference? Read my book, and then if you have questions, feel free to write to me.

The best lessons I have learned through a lifetime of mistakes include honoring my instincts and my value as a woman and a human being. It is far better to be alone than it is to be with someone who wants you to change to fit into their life. Love is about helping each other to grow, not about bullying someone into becoming what they never were and don’t want to become. Love is about compromise that is easy and right, not about capitulation to another’s beliefs and values to keep the love you never really had. Love is also about being open to a potential partner’s values and culture. You don’t want him to change you, why would he want you to change him, especially within his own culture?

And if you have a homework assignment, please read “I Am Happier to Know You” before contacting me. I always answer my email and try to help. My time is as valuable as yours. If you don’t have time to read my book because your assignment is due in 24 hours, don’t expect me to spend hours of my work and personal life schedule to rehash what is already available to you. I’m an author, not your mother.

Copyright 2009 by Jeanne M. Eck. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint or to quote extensively from this article, please contact the author at iamhappiertoknowyou.com

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