Internet Love and Homework

Since “I Am Happier to Know You” was released, I have received lovely fan mail from my readers as well as inquires asking for my help with homework because the student doesn’t have time to read my book and an alarming number from women who thought or think they have found love via the Internet with Egyptian men.

The letters from naive women have much in common, in particular extreme anxiety to find love even when red flags fly at full mast clearly warning them to run the other way. What is most hair-raising is the knowledge that in the majority of cases, the women who are prepared to pack up their lives (and often their children) and move half way around the world to a country where they don’t know the language, the laws, customs, or culture don’t understand that they very well may be running to a situation that can destroy their essence forever. They also don’t have time to read my book. Yikes!

This, of course, brings up a far larger issue. What has happened to so many women that they are willing to risk their lives and future on pretty words that camouflage falsehoods? Where is their self-esteem? Do they think so little of themselves that they’re willing to cede that which makes them who they are?

Of course there are wonderful foreign men seeking true love, but how do you separate them out from those who want a visa to your country or access to your bank account? Internet dating sites can be wonderful, but also a minefield of hooligans. How do you know the difference? Read my book, and then if you have questions, feel free to write to me.

The best lessons I have learned through a lifetime of mistakes include honoring my instincts and my value as a woman and a human being. It is far better to be alone than it is to be with someone who wants you to change to fit into their life. Love is about helping each other to grow, not about bullying someone into becoming what they never were and don’t want to become. Love is about compromise that is easy and right, not about capitulation to another’s beliefs and values to keep the love you never really had. Love is also about being open to a potential partner’s values and culture. You don’t want him to change you, why would he want you to change him, especially within his own culture?

And if you have a homework assignment, please read “I Am Happier to Know You” before contacting me. I always answer my email and try to help. My time is as valuable as yours. If you don’t have time to read my book because your assignment is due in 24 hours, don’t expect me to spend hours of my work and personal life schedule to rehash what is already available to you. I’m an author, not your mother.

I Am Happier To Know You